Kal, Male, 37

	- Narrator, disaster survivor and castaway

	- 6'1, 190lbs, straight, shoulder-length dark-brown hair

For some time there was nothing. No pain, no thoughts, no terror. Empty, hollow, nothing. I only know it was nothing when comparing it to what came later. The nothing was interrupted once or twice by pain, by men shouting, by loud noises. But those seconds were brief and soon lost back in the nothing.

The first clear thing I recall was a voice. A man said, “...only one. The rest are dead. We've got him under guard.”

It had no context, no color, nothing I could attach to anything real. And that too was soon lost to the nothing.

Some time later I felt something holding my wrists and tried to move. I found myself unable and tried to open my eyes with just as much success. Sensations flooded me. I was disoriented, waves of pain and pressure in my head, in my left shoulder, my legs. I groaned, or tried to, but no sound came forth.

I started to panic as my senses roused. More pain, more pressure, more confusion. Thoughts weren't coherent, my mind overwhelmed by the basic, raw cloudiness that seemed to flood in completely. I felt claustrophobic, tried again to move, rattled something. More pain.

A voice spoke. A man. “Easy. You aren't going anywhere. Easy, pal.” His accent was familiar but not really. I had a brief image of Crocodile Dundee flash through the pain before the red burning in my body once more drowned out everything.

I tried to open my eyes again, the blinding white forcing them closed almost immediately. I heard movement around me, felt a hand on my arm, the sound of a chair being drawn close.

“Easy, pal. Just relax. Drink.”

Something cool was pressed to my lips, a thin stream of fluid drooled out and over my tongue. I choked, the coughing expelling the water and sending shards of pain through me. I groaned, this time with sound.

“Again.”

More liquid, less coughing. I started to swallow, it was difficult. A few drops at a time I managed to get down the water and somewhat soothed the burn in my throat.

“Good.”

I let my eyes slowly open, let them adjust, let my focus be drawn to the shape of a man leaning over me. He wore a uniform. Green, perhaps blue, it was hard to tell. A badge on the front of his shirt said 'Garron.'

“Wh---” I coughed for several moments before he offered me another drink. I took it more easily this time, tried hard not to let the pain swimming in my body force me back into the blackness. My voice was gravel. “Where am I?”

“Safe. For now, at least. You've had a few injures, pal. We took care of the worst. You were pretty lucky given how we found you. The boys tried hard to kill you all, but you survived. Just you. Hope you've got something good for me. Might be a good time to repay us for the favors. Tell us what you were up to out there.”

“What?”

“Start with your name.”

“My name?”

“The thing people call you.”

He wasn't making sense. My name? What was my name... Oh... “K-Kal... Kal.” Fear started to take me and I once more tried to break free from the restraints. “Where's Bailey? Where's Bailey!?”

“Bailey didn't make it. He and the rest of your crew died in the firefight. You're the last one standing, pal. And we aren't making you any promises that your luck will last much longer. Start talking.”

Bailey didn't make it. I felt hollow. Tears formed and started to fall. Wait... “He? Bailey is my wife...”

“She must have jumped ship, then, got blown overboard, whatever. She wasn't on when we found you.”

It made no sense. What the hell was he talking about?

“No... no... she... she wasn't on a boat...she...” I stopped talking, suddenly afraid that he was going to hurt her.

“Well, wherever she is, we'll root all of you out eventually. You can count on that, pal. Start talking. What was your mission? Why were you running North when we caught you?”

“North? I wasn't...”

“You were. What were you after? Six months you've stayed holed up in Tasmania and suddenly we catch a dozen of your boats heading North within three days. Tell me what the fuck you were trying to do. What's up there?”

“I... I...” I felt my breath give out, my heart pounding, pain clouding me. Blackness took over once more.

- - -

I knew I'd been moved when I opened my eyes again. The white walls had been replaced with dull grey. The light was dimmer, the sounds of movement in a hallway echoing close by. The restraints were gone from my wrists and I slowly moved my arms. Pain in my left shoulder forced me to stop, but I lingered in the movement just a moment before panic returned.

I tried to rise, immediately felt dizzy, let myself crash back on the bed. I looked around slowly, saw a heavy door with a small barred window. I tried to yell, managed only a weak cry. “Help. Help. Somebody. Help me.”

There was no response. My mind still felt cloudy, but thoughts were more coherent, tangible. I tried to put the pieces together. I remembered the camp, the gunshots, Amy's scream. And then I was being interrogated by a man, Garron, about a boat, about going North. I couldn't understand what had happened.

A face popped up on the other side of the barred window, then the sounds of keys jangling. The door opened slowly. A large man, both tall and round, held a small device in one hand, pointed at me. The other held a tray. He sat the tray on a small table, the only thing in the room besides the bed, never taking his eyes or the device off of me. He grunted, “eat. Drink. Or don't. I don't give a shit,” and then he left, closing the door roughly behind him, the keys once more jangling in the lock.

The table was no more than four feet away but it might as well have been the moon. Slowly, I tried to rise, but my swimming head left me unable. I managed to get myself propped up a bit, realized my left arm was heavily bandaged, as were both my legs. I reached my good arm up slowly to my head, felt more bandages around my forehead and scalp. What the hell had happened to me?

It probably took me the better part of an hour to finally give up. I couldn't move myself much, and there was no chance I was going to stand. I eyed the glass of water and the bowl of something resembling soup with the eyes of a man dying from both hunger and thirst.

A new face popped up behind the barred window, and more jangling keys followed. A mostly-covered person this time, wearing a light blue uniform one might see on a nurse or doctor. Scrubs. That word came slowly to my head. This one, too, held some small device, pointed at me, a mask over nose and mouth as if I was contagious, hair hidden in a tight blue cap. A female voice said slowly, “don't move too fast, ok? I'll help you get your food down.”

“Can't. Can't get up. Can't do anything. Please... Help me... What is going on?”

The woman paused a moment, hesitated. She took a step closer, paused again. I heard her breath catch. The device drooped, then her arm fell limply to her side, her eyes wide.

“K-Kal? Kal?!”

I pleaded, desperate. “Please, help me!”

“Kal!” The woman ripped off her mask and cap.

Long, curly red hair dropped over her shoulders.

I knew her face.

“Kate... Kate? Wha-- How?”

Her eyes said she'd seen a ghost, and I have no doubt mine did as well.

She raced the three or four steps to my side, then paused as rapidly as she'd started, frozen, staring at my face. “It is you! Oh, god, Kal. You're alive! How? How? Oh, Kal!”

I was in shock. My body still refused to work properly, heavy, full of pain. My situation was confused, my circumstances frightening and filled me with doubts about my sanity. It couldn't be Kate. It couldn't be my wife, the woman I'd lost when the ship went down.

I knew immediately I was hallucinating.

I closed my eyes tight, cried out, “no, don't do this to me. No! Please, just go away! I can't deal with this now. Why are you tormenting me?” I wasn't really so much talking to the woman in the room as I was trying to chase back the shadows in my own thoughts which were threatening to sink me deep into despair. “Not now... oh... not now... Oh, Bailey...”

I felt a hand on my good arm, wetness dripping onto my skin, then fingers running over my beard. I rolled my head back and forth, tried to fight off the fear and the doubt, tried to grasp the last shreds of my failing sanity. “Please... no...”

“Kal... It's me... It's your Kate. Please.”

“No... It can't be.” Barely a whisper though it sounded like a scream in my head. “Can't...”

She was crying, loudly. Sobs sent more tears onto my flesh as she pressed her face against my arm. I didn't move, couldn't bring myself to consider what was happening. It had to be a dream. A nightmare. Something other than reality. My head had been hurt, badly. Something had gone wrong in there. Something terrible. And now I was imagining Kate was touching me again. Touching me after so many months apart. Months over which I'd accepted she was dead. Couldn't be real.

My eyes were pinched closed, my own tears streaming despite it. It hurt to think, to cry, to shake with my sobs. “Please,” I whispered. “Please, just help me.”

“I will, Kal. I will.” She seemed to regain her composure a bit, moved off of my arm and stood. I heard her move away. “Drink. Please, drink.”

A cup pressed against my lips and I let her pour it into my mouth. The water was cool, delightful. It washed down my throat between my sobs. She emptied the glass and poured me another, held the cup up to my lips once more.

I exhaled after finishing, still afraid to open my eyes and prove that I was hallucinating. I tried to be rational, tried to make sense of my situation. I said quietly, “where am I?”

“I... I can't tell you... I can't. Trust me, Kal. Trust me. I'll get this cleared up.”

“What... what needs cleared up? I'm hurt. Bad. Please, just help me get out of this place.”

“I will. Oh, Kal.” She knelt again. I refused to think of her as Kate. She grew quiet, silent a moment, then said, “were you working with them, Kal? They think you were.”

“Who? Working for who?”

“The Great Society.”

“No, I... No. I don't know what's going on. I don't know anything. One minute I was on the beach, then... I was here. I don't know anything.”

“Beach? What beach?”

“The Island... Phoenix. Island of the Phoenix. That's where I've been since my cruise ship was bombed. Where I've been for over a year. Where I...” My thoughts rang painfully. Bailey. Keekah. Amy. My soon-to-be-born child! I felt a powerful need to get out of that room. I tried to stand, swam groggily, barely managed to prop myself a few more inches before collapsing again. “I have to get back to Bailey. She needs me... They all need me... Oh...”

I cried again, few tears but much sorrow and loss. The woman held my hand, stroked my face, and she cried too. “Oh, Kal... easy. Easy. I'll help you. Just... You need to eat, ok? Don't get worked up right now. Things will be ok, I promise. I'll talk to them. I'll make them see.”

She held the bowl of soup to my lips. Some sort of salty broth that went down easily. Weak. Lukewarm. Nothing like the robust stews I'd been eating for so long on the island.

The woman felt real. Each finger that grazed my flesh felt warm, solid. If it was a hallucination, it was a powerful one. She kissed my cheek, and I knew those lips. Knew them but had long ago let them become my past. She lingered a moment, then kissed my hand. I had to know.

“When my cruise ship blew up, what was I doing? If you're Kate... you'd remember.”

She stood and took a step back. I finally opened my eyes again. It was Kate's troubled face that looked into mine. “You were... We were having sex... with Nina. The three of us. That was the last time I saw you...”

It was too much. What little strength I had left drained out of me and I slumped back onto the bed, my eyes drawing down quickly. The last thing I heard before I slipped under once more was, “I never stopped loving you, Kal. Never.”

- - -

My life on the island was open, free, no boundaries except the waves. I could look and see the stars on clear nights, the fluffy clouds on overcast days, could feel the sun shine on my naked body and feel the breeze flowing across my skin. I could make love with the people who loved me. Each effort I made, every day there, added something to our survival, our comfort, our pleasure.

Waking in the dark room, alone, no sign of the sky or the people I loved, was easily the worst moment of my life. It blew away all the terror, the losses, the heartbreak, and the fears of death I'd experienced. Waking with no one to speak to, to hug, no birds crying with the dawn, no waves lapping on the shore, no smell of a fire roaring to life, sank me into despair before I could even draw a breath.

My Kate hallucination felt surreal, and I dismissed it as I tried to find the strength to stand. It took a lot of effort but I was finally able to sit up. I was claustrophobic, manic, my heart racing, my breathing growing more rapid with each heartbeat. I had to get out, had to find Bailey, had to do something, anything.

I got to my feet with pain shooting through my body. My legs wobbled and gave way. I collapsed in a heap and lay there panting, unfocused, yet hyper-focused on just getting out. I crawled to the door, ignored the pain, tried to pry it open. I looked around, saw nothing but the small table and the low bed, nothing I could use to aid me. I grew more desperate, banged with my good arm on the door, banged harder, cried out for help.

Moments went by and I beat my fist sore on the door. I couldn't think to do anything else. I was a caged beast, and I had to be set free.

A man's voice sounded through the door. “Step back. Step back and return to your bed.”

I cringed, beat harder. I yelled, pain radiating through my voice.

“Step back, pal! Don't make me get the gas.”

I was inconsolable. My knuckles bled, streaks and spots of red contrasting with the grey door. My strength gave and I slumped against the wall beside the door, unable to do more.

After a moment, the lock clicked and the door opened slowly. The small, threatening device was in Garron's hand as he eased his arm forward. “Stay where you are. Stay where you are and you won't get hurt, pal. Just stay still.”

I couldn't have done anything else at that moment.

He stepped in gently, kept the device aimed at my chest, opened the door wide. He slid in and behind me a few steps. Another man came in, similar uniform, no name badge visible. He eyed me a moment, then waved to Garron, and the threatening device was lowered but not put away.

The second man closed the door and leaned on the wall opposite me, chewing his words before speaking. “You're a very interesting man, Kal. Not sure yet what to think about you.”

I grunted, tucked into a smaller ball, tried to swallow my fears and pain.

“Rumor is you claim you aren't GS. Care to tell me how you ended up on one of their boats?”

I shook my head, not in protest or denial, but in confusion. “I... I don't remember.”

The man softened, or so I thought at first. “Let's step back. I'm Norris. I'm an officer in Progress United's military and I have a very personal interest in the safety and security of thousands of civilians. If I believe you're with GS and you aren't talking, I have a very efficient firing squad that can end your misery. Got your attention yet?”

I stared at him, too weak to protest or respond.

“No? Garron here is convinced you're GS. You were on their boat, you look like one of the wilders they employ, and you haven't offered anything that says otherwise.”

“I'm...” I coughed, tried to wipe my bloody knuckles on my pants. “I'm not GS. I... don't know anything.”

“Then tell me a story about what you do know.”

I tried to put together what I knew, decided immediately against telling him about the others on the island. “I was on a cruise ship...” I coughed again. “It blew up. I washed up on an island. I've been there for over a year.”

“Shipwrecker, eh? Heard that before. Damn sure were enough of them blowing up when this started. Give me something better than that. What were you doing on their boat?”

I tried to focus. This was important. “I was... I was gathering mushrooms. On the East end of the island. Heard gunshots and ran. I don't know what happened next. I just remember the pain. And waking up to this asshole threatening me. I never heard of the GS before this place. I don't know what's going on. All I know is the bugs.”

“Bugs? Do tell.”

“Bugs. You know, the big flying things that everybody fears. I found some drawings, months ago, school kids or something. A canister washed up and had these drawings, some showed the bugs. Then a few months ago, they came to the island. I hid out in a cave until the birds ate them and they were gone. I barely survived. That's all I know.”

“Bugs, huh. Yeah, you aren't telling us anything new. Damn bugs are everywhere right now. Come and go, can't tell when they'll hit you. Lost damn good men, and women, to those fucking things.” He leaned forward, crouched down. “So you say you were on an island, say you don't know what's going on, just know bugs. Why should I believe you, Kal? Why shouldn't I let Garron here use his skills to find out what else you might know?”

I stayed silent a moment, felt resolve building in me. “You say you're fighting... GS, is it? These are the bad guys and you're the good guys, I assume you'll claim?”

“We do our best.”

“So would the good guys torture and kill a man who claims to be innocent and against which the only evidence you have is that he was found, injured and unconscious, on a GS boat? Is that what the good guys would do?”

He eyed me flatly a moment, then a small smile spread over his face. “Naive, Kal. Naive. But point taken.” Norris pulled something small out of his pocket and handed it to me. It was a bar of chocolate. “Eat that. Call it a concession.”

I grabbed the bar, ravenous, tore into it with my bloody fist and devoured two big bites.

He continued. “Seems one of our volunteers recognized you, vouches for you from before the war. Given what she knew about how you were lost on the ship and where you were found on the GS boat, your story is plausible. For now. I'm willing to release you into her custody. Don't leave town. Course, only a moron or a Marine would leave the protection of the cage. You ain't no Marine, and you don't strike me as a moron, Kal.” He stood and leaned over me. “Don't make me regret this.”

I nodded, finished the chocolate, wiped my bloody, chocolaty fingers on my sleeves. Norris stood, motioned to Garron, then opened the door. Before leaving, Norris said, “your concussion was pretty bad. Take it easy for a while. When you're healed up, we always need new meat for the grinder. I expect you to come see me when you are fit.” With that, the two men departed and closed the door. I didn't hear the keys turn in the lock this time.

- - -

I didn't recall passing out. I hadn't noticed being put in a wheelchair. I seemed to remember voices as if they were distant, passed through stone and wind, unintelligible by the time the words hit my ears. I opened my eyes to see the hallway walls sliding by, the light bright. My head pounded and I groaned.

A female voice said, “Hang in there, Kal. The meds should kick in soon. You'll feel better.” Kate. Her voice. I was hallucinating again.

- - -

I next was aware of movement. I was in a van, on my back. I could only see the ceiling and the walls, but the motion of the vehicle, bouncing on rough spots, swaying as if top-heavy, made me nauseous and I fought to keep my bile from rising.

I felt less pain then, but more foggy. I stopped trying to fight against nausea, barely managed to lean to the side, and retched several times. Dry, thankfully. Kate's voice again. “Almost there.”

I leaned back, my sickness passed slowly. I felt dry, dizzy again.

The van stopped a few moments later. It could have been hours. The passage of time was one of those details of my reality which held no meaning. The rear doors opened. Kate pulled out the wheelchair, set it on the ground, then climbed up and knelt next to me.

She smiled, genuine but concerned. “Hey, gonna need you to take a couple of deep breaths. Just a quick slide over to the chair. She kissed my lips first. Gentle, kind, warm. Slowly, she eased me to the floor, and together I was able to inch down the bed toward the opening.

“One step down, then lean into the chair. I'll brace you.”

My right foot slid over the edge and I put weight on it. It gave immediately and I sank back onto the rear of the van. Kate held my right side steady, kissed my neck, almost hugged me but didn't squeeze. “Ready when you are.”

I steeled my nerves, tried to let the painkillers brace me. I said, “doing my best,” and stepped out again. My ankle gave way quickly, but not before I'd managed to pivot and slide down into the seat. My body screamed and I moaned with pain.

Kate wrapped her arms around my neck, kissed my cheek, and pushed me up a short walkway as I drifted back to blackness.

- - -

Voices. Two. Both female. Kate, and... someone.

“I dunno,” Kate said. “He's been mumbling in his sleep since he got here. I can't make much out. Says the name Bailey a lot, that much is clear.”

“I gotta see him.”

“Let him rest.”

“I will. I missed him terribly too, you know.”

I heard shuffling, my eyes parted. The room was thankfully dark, just a small night light in the corner letting me see the two people sliding over next to the bed. I felt warm finally, comfortable almost. The pain had less of an edge, even my brain felt less pressure.

Kate saw my eyes, said with a small smile, “hey, you. Didn't mean to wake you.”

I tried to smile, managed to hack twice before she offered me a glass of water. “No, no. It's ok.”

The other woman leaned in and I saw her face for the first time.

“N-Nina?”

She smiled, tears running from her eyes. “Yes, Kal. Oh...” She wrapped herself around me, bumping my shoulder and sending a jolt of pain up over my chest. I groaned and she pulled back a bit, repositioned, and hugged my neck tight. “I've missed you so much. I thought I'd lost you forever.”

“Me too, Sweetie. Me too. I'm...” I let her pull away and step back. “I'm not so sure this is real, you know? My head... my head's not right. This just can't be. You're both dead.”

Kate sat on the edge of the bed, stroked my arm. “Not yet. It was close, a few times, but not yet. Sounds like you've had your fair share of 'being dead,' too. If I hadn't seen your eyes I'd have never known it was you.”

I thought of Bailey suddenly, my head strong enough to let my past life and my island loves crash together terribly. Bailey, Keekah, Amy, everyone on the island. They were my family now. I'd let Kate and Nina go, let them pass beyond my emotions. I'd had to. And now... Now they sat next to me, touching me, comforting me. How could I deal with all that?

Kate sensed my troubled thoughts. “Shh... Not now. We'll talk later. I'm dying to, same as you. But you need rest now. One of us will stay with you for a while, not leaving you alone again.”

“Alone... yeah... please... don't leave me alone again.” I suspect they thought I referred to my months on the island, neither of them aware of my life there. Instead, I was terrified of waking up like I had in the cell, alone, in a small space, unable to do anything but panic.

“We won't,” Nina said softly, stroking my cheek. “Not again. I'll get someone to cover my shifts and stay with you. Kate will be here as often as possible. We'll catch up real soon.”

“Real soon. Yeah.”

Kate spoke gently. “Take these, try to sleep. It will do you good.” She handed me several pills and I slowly downed them, one by one. “I have to head in for the rest of my shift. Nina will stay here with you tonight.”

“Ok. Thank you, Kate. Thank you.”

She turned as she stepped through the doorway, said, “I still love you, Kal.”

“I know.” I didn't know, not really. Well, I suppose it was obvious, or would have been if my head was right. I didn't think to return the love. It felt distant, what I'd felt for Kate. Not nothing, certainly not nothing, but it was too much to deal with and I couldn't say it back. She smiled anyway and slipped through the door.

Nina slid onto the bed next to me, put her head on my chest and curled into my body carefully. “Me too, Kal. I still love you.”

I was already fading out, my eyes drooping. The last sensation I remember was the softness of Nina's naked breast on my side. I hadn't noticed she'd removed her clothes.